Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Problems in the Bedroom

Jamie and I have been experiencing problems in the bedroom.

Bet that got your attention.

You see, Jamie is an unapologetic cover snatcher. If you don't know, a cover snatcher is someone who throughout the course of a period of rest methodically snatches the covers off his or her bed buddy. When we lay down to go to sleep every night, I'll start my respite warm and toasty, firmly ensconced in bed sheets and covers. However by morning time, my core body temperature has dropped approximately five to ten degrees because Jamie is warm and toasty, firmly ensconced in bed sheets and covers!

To me, creating an invisible wall (tip of the fedora to the Usual Suspects) in the middle of the bed as well as drawing a big, red line on the center of our comforter is the only logical thing to do. This would provide an objective measuring stick to equally divide the bed sheets and comforter. Jamie disagreed (she muttered something about breaking my nose if she even saw me in our bedroom with a red marker).

Until Jamie and I reach a compromise, I'll probably remain uncovered during the night, left to writhe in cold temperatures. Cue the sad violin music...

Monday, September 28, 2009

A Life in Demise

Well after this morning, I discovered a sure-fire way to ruin my life: drive down I-55 south every weekday morning.

Jamie left her work ID badge at home this morning, so I drove to this place to take it to her. By the time I left her and arrived in Clinton, I had considered the positive effects of copious cocaine use, methamphetamine abuse, and sniffing concentrated sodium hypochlorite.


Thursday, September 24, 2009


Jamie and I have long been fans of America's Funniest Home Videos. But I've always been disappointed with the videos that win the grand prize on the show. They're rarely the funniest video of the episode, let alone just funny!

To me, the funniest video usually involves someone with a glorious lack of sophistication and couth falling flat on their face. But that's just me.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Jim Carrey Does Horatio Cain

I've always been a sucker for television police/crime dramas. Not sure why, but I do like them.

David Caruso brings a special brand of predictable cheese each and every episode of CSI: Miami (but oddly enough, I find myself still wanting more). Take a look at Jim Carrey with his impression of ole' Horatio Cain.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Winsty Baby Flashback

Jamie set up her Fall display at our front door not long ago, and my mind immediately drifted back to one of our first classic pictures of the late, great Winsty baby.

He was a sweetie!

One and Half of One

When I was out of town last week, Jamie texted me early Tuesday morning and said, "Happy one and a half year anniversary!" Uuuuhhhhhhhhhh......

Indeed, I recognize that the Ides of March is my anniversary, but I was under the impression that you only have to count whole years once you reach the first one. I guess not. Nonetheless, Jamie made me this extravagant chocolate cake. And it is good!

Bacon, Bacon, Bacon!

If Jamie ever attempts to modify my eating habits and curtail my junk food intake, may there be no doubt in your mind that I will respond like this.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

The Weekend

Well hello there.

For Dixieland...I was born....early, Lord, one frosty morn...look away, look away, look away...Dixieland...

Sorry. I've been listening to Elvis sing a little Dixie. Let me tell you this: most modern day "singers" aren't worthy enough to carry the King's jockstrap. But I digress.

I don't have much to say about this weekend because not much went on for Jamie and me. But let me catch you up on last weekend.

I was privileged to be in my good friend Russell's wedding. Ole Tuss found him one heck of a gal, and Jamie and I have enjoyed getting to know Jessica! And as usually is the case, Russell married well above himself. It was also fun to hang out with my fellow groomsmen. While I was the lone Choctaw, I still was amongst a good group of dudes. Russell and Jessica, congratulations!

I got up early last Monday morning to take a business trip through the great state of Tennessee. We spent some quality time in Memphis and Nashville and a couple of places in between. While it was a whirlwind of a trip, the boss man and myself were able to ride through Franklin, TN. This might have been the highlight for me because "rural Franklin" is a beautiful part of the world. If you're in the area, take some time to ride through Franklin's rolling hills.

Let's chat soon.