Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Getting Old

It hit me the other day. At twenty-four years of age, I'm definitely getting old. Well I feel like I'm getting old. And the Usual Suspects think it's hilarious to call me paw paw. Now I haven't started shopping for caskets or anything like that, but I have given some significant thought about what I want to do for my mid-life crisis. Really...I don't know what to think about it all...but I'm pretty sure the evidence below indicates I'm teetering on the brink of Depends.
  • I've started having horrendous heart burn in the middle of the night. This is a new experience for me. Damn my burning esophagus! Thankfully, some basic care (pun intended) usually can fix this problem.
  • I'm becoming a little obsessed with the undisputed official show for old folks, Wheel of Fortune. This is a bit embarrassing to admit...even for me...but I now DVR the Wheel (old folks call it "the Wheel"). My Wheel addiction started out rather innocuous. I was watching Pat and Vanna one evening, and I became enraged (seriously, I was stomping around the house) because I couldn't solve any of the puzzles. So I figured I needed some intense puzzle-solving practice. Next thing you know, I find myself addicted. But I am starting to get a little better at the puzzle-solving.
  • My hair started turning gray when I was in college and marrying Jamie accelerated that process (just kidding, hun...not really). I don't mind the gray hair, but my hair line has started to recede.'s started to thin out around my forehead. I'm just a little upset about it. But one thing I've always had in my favor is that the facial hair is still black.
  • I'm not sure if snoring is a sign of being old, but it sure makes me feel old. Apparently I snore. At least that's what Jamie tells me. I guess I believe her. In fact, if I ever didn't, I sure do now. A couple of nights ago, I awoke to Jamie standing over me grabbing nose. "What are you doing," I asked her. "Fixing your snoring schnoz," she exclaimed. Finally I realized she was slapping a breath right strip on my nose.
I do have a couple of thing going for me. I've yet to start watching the Weather Channel (MTV for old folks). I do drive fast. I don't get up early in the morning. And, oh yeah, I'm still twenty-four.


Landon said...

we're the worst "wheel" fans... we even say the chant at the beginning "wheel............... of.......... FORTUNE!!!" pretty dorky and lame. people say 40 is the new thirty.. so if my math is correct that makes us 14!

Donna said...

Don't despair--if you're like other 'oldies', your Wheel obsession will ebb and flow. I used to watch it faithfully until I couldn't stand it anymore that they were buying vowels and wasting money when they obviously knew the answer! Now I can miss it and not stress. And I do admit to watching TWC when there's nothing else decent showing. You are ONLY 24??!!??!!

Rusty said...

Don't even get me started mere child...
Your loving and MUCH older brother-in-law.