Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Fourth


To celebrate Independence Day, the Usual Suspects spent the weekend at Eagle Lake in Vicksburg for some fun on the water. We had a grand time in what I like to call "acting da fool." If I told you that the weekend birthed many a notable quotations, would you be surprised? Of course not! So if you were with Jamie, the Usual Suspects, and me, you might have heard these things said...oh wait...


Well I did forgot about that. Our gracious hosts for the weekend were beyond accommodating, but they did have the above stipulation. I can't help but feel compelled to honor their one request: what happens at the lake stays at the lake. Sorry (but remember, Usual Suspects, if any pictures of me get posted on the world wide web...I will renege and write a "tell-all"). Truth is, most of the good quotes aren't repeatable anyway. So I'll mention two stories instead.

Apparently, unannounced to me, the party-planning committee authorized an expenditure in excess of $100 dollars to decorate the redneck party barge for the Eagle Lake Independence Day boat parade. Essentially, the residents of Eagle Lake have this tradition of decorating their boats to show off their pride in our great country with an annual aquatic parade. I was unequivocally assured that our garish decorating efforts would bring us nothing less than the glory of a first-place finish in the competition (my decorating contribution: staying out of the way). Unfortunately, we had to settle for the internal pride we felt for our country, because much of our competition resembled floats you would see in Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Nonetheless, I was proud of our team.

During the weekend, I discovered an amazing solution to a divisive national security issue that our country faces. Some limp-wristed politicians find waterboarding to be an objectionable enhanced interrogation tool to extract information from terrorists. Wimps! Thanks to our trip to Eagle Lake, I submit to you a new "water-based" enhanced interogation technique. Let's round up the terrorists, put them on an inner tube attached to a boat being driven by Big Richard, and take them on a ride around a lake. Even the hardest terrorists will melt, cry like babies, and start singing "God Bless America."

Maybe, on Saturday like me, you came to this realization: while I was out on a lake playing and enjoying liberty and civilized society, we had brothers and sisters around the world defending our freedoms. I'm not interested in your political views or affiliation, and I don't care what your opinion is of the current conflicts in which our country is fighting. But I'll tell you this: there are evil people in this world that have a burning desire to destroy America and Americans. And it's not our fault. If you believe otherwise, you're extremely naive or misguided at best.

God bless America, and those who defend her!

1 comment:

Alyson said...

Hi Michael!!
I SO enjoyed the 4th of July pics on yours/Jamie's blog!!
I check both of your blogs routinely, so thanks for updating! :)
Well said...God bless the USA!!!!
Aly