Saturday, February 28, 2009

Catching Up

Well howdy! Let's catch up on a few items of note.

1) The other day, I again drove through a certain intersection that now has an incapacitated traffic signal (you may remember this post). On the eastbound and westbound lanes of the intersection, a sign has been posted alerting drivers of the non-functional traffic signal. More perniciously, the sign suggests said traffic signal is under repair, leaving open the possibility of it's return. Hmmm. I can only surmise that some municipal authority is ignorant of the confection of misery, uncertainty, and pandemonium that formerly stewed under this nuisance.

In these trying days, citizens have no choice but to be suspicious and skeptical of the motives of government officials. Bureaucrats have wised up! They no longer directly come after our guns, but they regulate our ammunition. They pay for our houses under the guise of saving us from insidious bankers, yet they ultimately seek the ability to control what we do in our houses. "You're killing the environment," they tell us, "so decrease your carbon footprint." But they know that oil is the engine of freedom.

Infringements on liberty are often disguised as seemingly innocuous regulations. Beware! Will the citizens stand for this traffic signal to recommence its reign of terror? Will we allow the municipal authorities the obstruct the free-flow of commerce and freedom? Take a stand!

2)I need to mention this. Yesterday night, Jamie, half of the usual suspects, and I ate at this place. While the wait was prolonged, the fellowship (and therefore quotes) were good! So if you were with Jamie, half of the usual suspects, and me, you might have heard these things said:
  • "Ma'am, does your husband happen to have super sperm?"
  • "And the two of you could learn something from him."
  • "I might be down, but I'm not out"
  • "There's Bianca again."
  • "I'm keeping this thing so we can know how long we were going to have to wait."
  • "I read blog after blog after blog, and I don't even know these people."
  • "I might have been born just plain white trash, but Fancy was my name."
  • "He's going to have to school me in the ways of the casino."
  • "Amanda and I are the laid back ones, and you two are the aggressive ones, so one of you two have to go do it."
  • "Water...water...water...Coke."
  • "You need to be the bigger person."
  • "It's not about what you get out of it. It's about worshiping Jesus."
  • "Well I don't have a choice because you would get Winston."
3)Friday, I ate lunch with this guy. Have you ever had the feeling you were eating lunch with the smartest guy in the room? I'm sure he did, but I know I did. Although he doesn't know it, I've become a little hooked on Google Ocean because of this blog post. Who knew that virtual exploration of the Mariana Trench could be so much fun?

4) How many times have you caught yourself thinking, "I wonder what Winsty baby is doing?" I know I'm not the only one! So to satiate your desire and mine, I am in the preliminary stages of research concerning a potential new piece of the Ford Retort. Cue the's the Winston Web Cam! That's right, Winston's every move would be available via the world wide web! In real time! And in color!

Jamie told me I'm crazy...and that she would be very upset if I spent more than $25 doing this. Other potential conflicts may include Winston's contract negotiations. While he's open to the idea of his every move being broadcast, I must say he is a pecuniary little fellow and knows how to make a buck. Potential conflicts aside, I'm hoping to make this happen.

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