Sunday, December 28, 2008

Money for a Change


The other day, I felt change in the air.

I arrived home from work. When I entered the house, I kissed petted Winston and petted kissed Jamie and then scurried back outside to check the mail. My very ornate mailbox (the home owners association made me get an expensive one) contained a bill or two, a magazine for Jamie, and a letter from a sender I didn't instantaneously identify. As I'm in the habit of doing, I tossed the mail aside with plans to come back to it when I had a spare moment.

A day or two later, I took time to sift through a growing pile of mail. I came to that aforementioned letter, which I assumed to be junk mail as I opened it. In the enclosed letter, I pulled out a check in the amount of $21.38 made out to me. It was from LG. Apparently because I purchased a refrigerator from them, I was somehow entitled to this remuneration.

Here's an excerpt from the letter which was with the check:

Based on guidance from the Department of Energy (DOE) about the interpretation of the testing rules for refrigerators, LG Electronics has changed the energy rating on the model of the LG refrigerator you purchased. The rating for this product now reflects higher energy usage than was indicated by the information on the labels and other materials at the time you made the purchase. As a result, LG is providing a three-part offer for those who have purchased these models:

The letter went on to explain that the enclosed check is a cash payment for past energy usage. It also said that LG will modify my refrigerator at no expense to me to make it more energy efficient. If I didn't opt for that, LG will make annual cash payments to me over the useful life of the refrigerator (14 years) for future energy usage.

Hmm. This seemed like an awfully honest thing to do. Who says there is no such thing as corporate conscience? Who dares lambaste the beauty of capitalism? Then it hit me! These corporate bastards weren't being honest. Barack Obama was making them be honest. Yes we can! I got to thinking even harder (a scary thing if I'm by myself): is Barack going to stick it to the man so many times over the next four years that I might should expect a check...who knows...daily?

Ah yes, how many times has the innocent consumer been snookered? But, my friends, we can be confident that the president-elect will make it right! The sky will open, the light will come down, celestial choirs will be singing...

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