Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Labor Day Weekend

Friday afternoon, I was on the phone with an associate of mine and told him to have a good Memorial Day weekend. For some reason, I always get Labor Day and Memorial Day confused.

Friday evening, Jamie and I babysat my three cousins Caleb (age 5), Collin (age 3), and Claire (age 1). I'll write more about them later. Saturday morning and afternoon, we traveled down to Port Gibson to celebrate Jamie's grandfather's birthday. Saturday evening, the two of us and some friends attended an M Braves game. Sunday morning, Jamie and I were at church. We grabbed some lunch with friends, and then killed a couple of hours at my office. Sunday evening, we cooked out with family. Busy weekend!

I was contemplating what to write about the events that transpired this weekend. Then it hit me! This might rock the blogosphere.

Ladies and gentlemen, faithful Ford Retort readers of all sizes and ages, you're about to experience the biggest "you might have heard these things said" list in the history of the Ford Retort. And to add some more girth to the list, I'm including quotes from our early August trip to Memphis! So, get ready, because...if you were with me this weekend (or in Memphis), you might have heard these things said (cue the applause and wild screaming):
  • "Claire, she's just beautiful!"
  • "She's always wanting those last two inches."
  • "These peoples is killin' me!"
  • "How'd he get that gig?"
  • "Man, this is refreshing."
  • "I'll get a Call-a-Cab."
  • "What was the name of that show...HANG TIME!"
  • "They must have been robbed because he was outside doing this..."
  • "Get behind me, HDMI cable."
  • "My problem is getting white women to find me attractive."
  • "I'm back on green."
  • "What type of fish is that?"
  • Sometimes, he's so Christ-like, we just can't stand it."
  • "Ready or not, here I come."
  • "Poolside."
  • "If it doesn't get better, I'm just gonna yank on my neck."
  • "By December, I'm going to be a mountain man!"
  • "Poor guy, he's a dork." (about 45 minutes later) "Whoa, he's a pimp!"
  • "Nope, Gustav is going to hit Florida."
  • "So how we gonna do this?"
  • "Don't worry...I'll sit in a corner and you'll never even know I'm there."
  • "Caleb, let Collin have a turn."
  • "Let's hit up that Piccadilly!"
  • "Ya'll go in Kelly's room a second."
  • "Turn left in 0.2 miles."
  • "You travel about as well as Amanda."
  • "Shhh...you're gonna wake up Claire."
  • "And I pulled my stitches out cuttin' the hog wire out of the mower."
  • "Don't be tellin' nobody about our purses."
  • "Ok, you can put on your jammies."
  • "No Thirsty Thursday?"
  • "Me and Mike are about to be up in the middle of that party!"
  • "Have you read The Shack?"
  • "Jamie, Michael's naked!"
  • "Let's go, Bravos!"
  • "Before we go to bed, you'll have one more chance to find me in my super-duper secret hiding spot."
  • "Put it on cruise control."
  • "When you get out of dental school, we're comin' up here on your dime."
  • "Does Jamie think The Hills is real?"
  • "Man, that's sorry."
  • "Don't touch that!"
  • "Why do we even have a budget?"
  • "And here's the Ford Retort to the right of Rush Limbaugh."
  • "I don't want to go to that restaurant where they have fire."

1 comment:

John said...

"I giv u tu fu 55..."

"somebody just get out and ask that woman on the curb."

"can I have another plate please?, i accidentally let my raw meat touch it"

"man check out that shower!"

"this looks like a thrift market."

"I went to the passion party next door."