Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Weed Eater

If you would have stumbled by my house 8 am last Saturday morning, you would have found me edging my yard. At the risk of boasting, I feel compelled to tell you that I'm rather proficient with a weed eater. So I find whacking weeds to be an enjoyable activity. Let me also go on the record and say that I'm a fan/owner of Stihl products, and if you have the means, I would highly recommend them.

Oddly enough, I find my creative juices churning the most, during times when I'm engaged in yard work (you wouldn't believe the Ford Retort topics that emerge...).

The Bible gives us many images of Heaven...a place of no tears, no night, and streets of gold. Biblical scholars debate the activities of Heavenly home owners, but I have to believe that in Heaven, faithful workers will constantly edge (with a weed eater) the streets of gold. It is the majestic reward to these faithful workers to maintain a clean groove between the lush Heavenly grass and streets of gold. Next to using my stratospheric super diva abilities, I'm looking most forward to this!

Biblical descriptions of Hell are terrifying. It is described as location of fire and brimstone, gnashing of teeth, and constant anguish. I have to believe in Hell, its occupants are forced to constantly change the string on weed eaters. Day after day, Hell's home owners engage in the tedious work of putting on thousands of feet of string on weed eater spools. And to make the drudgery worse, somebody sits there and tells them, "You spend more time changing the string on that thing than you do using it!"

While we must now limit weed eater activities to earthly pursuits, let me suggest some contraindicated weed eater activities: obliterating a watermelon, torturing animals, and powering a boat.

2 comments:

cindy jo said...

and I thought the occupants of hell were forced to do math all day long - or at least that is what my stepson, Troy, says...

John said...

mike, feel free to come test out my weed eater/edger on friday...

you can even borrow it if you like...

what did i tell you bout them stihls?