Thursday, May 22, 2008

Jason: Part 1

So Snerdley found a guest poster. But first, an introduction.

Jason Sanders and I became good friends at MC. I quickly realized that Jason was a "good kid" (not a title I bestow with impudence). So without further adieu, Mr. Jason Sanders, in his own words:

When Michael asked me to do this interview, I was a little apprehensive, with a dash of excitement, and a pinch of anxiousness. I could not wait for the chance to talk about myself on a website as revered as the Ford Retort, yet I could not help but wonder if such an honorable audience like the one that reads this prestigious site would care to read about just one of the many friends of Michael Ford. After Michael calmed me and gave me my daily dose of confidence and perspective, I could not be more happy, and I am more than willing to honor such a humble request of an interview with the one and only Michael Ford.

I was an outgoing young boy; however, I was never quite sure of myself. Sure I could jump into any conversation, or be a part of any crowd, but there was a yearning from within to refrain and doubt myself. This trait would come into full blossom throughout high school and some of college. At least until I met Michael Ford. You see, Michael showed me a side of myself I never dreamt existed. And it was his encouragement and determination to make me a success, that in fact created some sort of fabulous super awesomeness that sits in front of this keyboard typing to you. All of the self doubt that originated in my youth has now faded away, leaving an intricate, fully formed inner shell of self awareness, charm, and down right confidence that would have never come to fruition unless I had met Michael.

Throughout my youth and high school years, my self doubt had created an awkwardness that would lead to embarrassing moments everyday. For instance, one day in high school I actually farted in class to a roar of laughter and a paleness of my face. I really tried to be cool. But nothing I did was ever successful and using my secret farting talents in public was sure not to help. I had a close group of friends that I still hold dear, and their unjudging eyes were the only windows of solace in which I found comfort. Michael changed all of that for me, and I owe every bit of my coolness and popularity to him.


At first, I did not really have a reason for MC being my choice to finish my college career. But now I know there was a higher calling and purpose for my attendance there. Michael Ford is not mortal. His brain is too far powerful and far reaching to resemble anything similar to human organs. His countenance and problem solving skills alone are enough to make men shy away and watch in fear through their hands. I was subconsciously drawn to this force and my unforgivable good looks and GPA are a result.

1 comment:

Rusty said...

Excuse me young man, whilst I go and procure a sturdy pair of chest waders from the local sporting goods store. I fear that I will be in need of them in order to complete the reading of your verbally prodigious posting.
ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!