Wednesday, April 30, 2008

We Agree!


Because I am man of unity and not division, I have spent countless hours on YouTube, seeking to find common ground with the Rev. Dr. Jeremiah Wright!

I am pleased to announce that I agree with the Rev. Dr.'s assessment in the above video. For your viewing pleasure...

Definitely looking forward to when the good Reverend teaches a seminar entitled Sermon Illustrations: Making the Abstract Concrete for your Parishioners.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Tim Keller's Book


Mere moments ago, the mailman delivered two books I ordered from Amazon, one being "The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism," by Dr. Timothy Keller. Dr. Keller is the founder/pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church.

The above video is Dr. Keller speaking at the Authors@Google program.

Shootin' the Breeze

I did some traveling yesterday for work, running around outside of the Clinton area. My trip led me past the home of a friend of my parents (let's call him Henry), and as I passed by his abode, Henry was outside, engaged in some light yard work.

Henry and I spent some time shootin' the breeze (the older I grow, the more I'm persuaded that one's ability to shoot said breeze is a key indicator future success). The lovely purple irises in Henry's yard caught my attention, but what captured my attention was Henry's dog hunting and trapping a rather large frog. The dog (let's call her Velma) was persistent in harassing this frog, but Velma was unable to conquer frog because of its urine secretions. Velma would bite the frog but spit it out a moment or two later, leaving the frog frothy mess.

The persistence of the frog to escape was an inspiration to me. Frogs instinctively persevere through hard times. Humans...not necessarily. The Bible instructs us to learn something from the ant. Why not learn something from a frog? Unfortunately, after escaping the insipid jaws of Velma, the frog came to an untimely demise because I ran over it as I was pulling out of Henry's driveway. Sorry, Mr. Frog.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Now Isn't That Sweet!


Yesterday morning, I ascended to the media booth at my church to handle our graphics/video needs, and I discovered the above card. Kirby, a four-year old Mission Friends participant, created it for me. Inside, it says, "Thank you for being a church helper."

Now that's just sweet. Thank you, Kirby, for my card. I appreciate it!

Friday, April 25, 2008

The Banana Saga Continues

My banana routine (see earlier post, but if you don't want to, it consists of eating a piece of fruit in the morning on the way to work) has caused (me, this time) some consternation again. Aside from functioning as the offending wand in obscene hand gestures, I have also discovered that a normal-sized banana is about the same size as a microphone.

I was listening to this station on the way in to work this morning, and this song blared through my speakers. And let me tell you, I felt my spirit movin'. Hank and I connected. So I started singing while I had the banana in my hand, eating my banana. What else was I suppose to do? Put it down? So I used my banana as a microphone. A country boy can surviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvveee iiiiiiiivvviivvviive.

In performing for my faux audience, I discovered I actually did have an audience...a man had pulled up along side me and was gawking at me. I tipped my fedora to him and quickly put down my banana and became straight-faced. How mortifying!

While the regularity is nice, maybe I should select another fruit for consumption: an apple, orange, or tangerine...a lot less potential for trouble. Other points of note:
  • I ate lunch with some friends as Cool Al's (formerly Stamps Superburgers). Whoa! That's a big ol' burger. Jason even managed to conquer the Classic Double!
  • Now that I think about it, I'm reasonably sure I've sung "Every Time I Feel the Spirit" in church. But we honky-tonked it up a little bit. I'll check with my sources.
  • SCOTUS Associate Justice Antonin Scalia is a curmudgeonly conservative. I'm looking forward to seeing his interview on 60 Minutes. It appears he's as feisty and witty as ever!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

No Surprises Here...

Anybody want to wager a guess as to what the top question I've been asked in the last month or so is? It's this or some variation of this: has living with Jamie/married life surprised you in any way?

Nope.

Seriously, no surprises. Nothing I didn't expect. I think the whole dating for seven years had something to do with it. Could be wrong though. May have something to with my expertise on women...just thinking out loud.

If anything, marriage has amplified Jamie's quirks, which I already knew of. One stylistic difference that always leads to strong words is driving. My sweet bride is an aggressive driver, belligerent tailgater, and wild horn-honker. It drives me crazy!

Other points of disagreement include:
  • I think Larry Wayne "Chipper" Jones smirks when he's at bat. Jamie believes he's simply sucking on a sour piece of candy.
  • Contention arose between Jamie and me when we had a disagreement on a jacket she bought. She thought it was an acceptable article of clothing; it struck me as a nice roller derby uniform (if you're wondering, flowers and this song made up for that comment...Jamie countered with this song).
  • I'm going gray (as opposed to going green). Yep, my hair is turning gray. Jamie believes Just for Men will do the trick. I'm actually looking forward to the gray hair (not really).
  • Jamie uses simple words for passwords; I prefer cryptically complex passwords (my passwords involve astronomical anomalies and complex derivations of the Fibonacci sequence).

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Dirty Jobs


The Ford Retort exists for several reasons. The primary reason: people need to know what I, Michael E. Ford, think about things. A secondary reason? Well, the Ford Retort certainly strives to be a force for good...a force to promote ideals that are honorable and noble and salubrious...a force for change, yes, change for the better. So I summon and respectfully request your help:

I'm a big fan of the show Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel. Host Mike Rowe is indeed a hilarious man. His witty commentary as he traverses from dirty job to dirty job is delightful. Mike is a good guy (a former opera singer, actually), a guy that represents middle America.

Because Dirty Jobs is a show that brings me great pleasure, my desire is to do one thing: wear a Dirty Jobs t-shirt. So I clicked over to the Discovery Store, in search of the aforementioned t-shirt. Only one problem: it doesn't exist. I sent a polite but direct email to the Discovery Store and told them of their error. A representative promptly replied back and said that a Dirty Jobs t-shirt is currently not on the agenda. Come on guys, give me a break.

As a Southern Baptist, boycotts are ingrained in my DNA (seriously, we boycott all sin). The Ford Retort is officially calling for a boycott of the Discovery Store until they stock official Dirty Jobs t-shirts. Really, Discovery Store, has it come to this? Poking me, the Dirty Jobs fan, in the eye is not a sagacious move to make; therefore, there will be consequences.

Boycotters, for good Karma and general spiritual unity, I would suggest listening to the Dirty Jobs song, getting it stuck in your head, and humming it a couple of hours a day.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

In a Past Life

Official Blog Observer Joe Nathan Snerdley came across this. I'm the progeny of a long line of successful folks!

Monday, April 21, 2008

I'd Tap That!


What happens when irreverent political zaniness meets crude cultural humor? See above, from the Patriot Shop, obscene profit machine of the Patriot Post: The Conservative Journal of Record.

The U.S. currently imports 13 million barrels of oil a day to meet the 21 million-per-day consumer demand. Due to political instability in Africa and the Middle East, 28% of those imports come from less-than-dependable providers. The most readily available proven U.S. oil reserves (an estimated billions of barrels) are under a vast wasteland on the northern slope of Alaska called the Alaskan National Wildlife Reserve (ANWR).

But Albert Arnold Gore and his gullible warming Gorons are intent on stopping further domestic oil exploration, claiming that human industrial activity is a major factor accelerating global warming, thus endangering the Polar Bear! If declared threatened, the Polar Bear would become the first species designated a potential victim of global warming.

If global warming, as the Gorons predict, is inevitable, then preventing Arctic oil exploration will not prevent the Polar Bears from extinction. Get our exclusive and irreverant "I'd Tap That" Polar Bear T-shirt and show your support for U.S. oil exploration!

I came awfully close to spewing out a mouthful of Coke when I saw this!

Farm Livin' Is The Life for Me


During our engagement period, I suggested to Jamie that our post-wedding living arrangements consist of a large piece of land "out in the country" and a mobile home (we would live in the mobile home until we decided to build a house on that land). Even though I know Jamie like I know every inch of my glorious naked body, I wasn't prepared for her answer to my suggestion about our post-nuptial living: "Michael, if you make me live in a trailer, I will not marry you." Today, we are married, and we don't live in a mobile home.

Jamie and I attended a party this weekend in the metropolis of Pickens, MS. Saturday was a beautiful day in central Mississippi, and Jamie and I enjoyed the drive to the cabin where the party was held.

At one instance, Jamie spied a quaint country home and said, "Now wouldn't it be fun to live out here." I reminded her she would need to live out there at night as well...that means it would be dark. But the drive back for Jamie cleared the illusion that she'd care for country life. Let's review:
  • Jamie managed to hit three separate classifications of animals: a snake (it was sunbathing in the road), a dog (not a wild dingo - this was someone's domesticated pet), and a crow (it was probably munching on some road kill from another country driver). Snuffing out innocent life disheartened Jamie a bit.
  • I reviewed with Jamie the therapeutic effect of putting your hands in the dirt. She wanted to review the scientific study which proved said therapeutic effect. I also reminded her that the muted color scheme I prefer to adorn would be more acceptable in the context of country livin'. Jamie prefers for me to wear bright and happy colors (I can look like an Easter egg only so many days of the week).
  • At one point, we got a touch turned around. Our asphalt road quickly and without warning turned into a gravel road. Let me give you an idea of the experience of going from asphalt to gravel: landing a plane.
  • Jamie has always wanted to name our daughter Emma (we have no news to report, by the way). As a plus, this name would fit a country girl well.
  • Of course, as you might expect, I'm country in the same way that Olive Garden is Italian...not very. Jamie and I will hang with city life for the time-being.
Since we passed through Canton, Jamie and I ate at Two Rivers Restaurant on Saturday evening. Good eatin'!

Enjoy the beautiful Spring weather this week before temperatures become oppressively hot!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Pope Benedict


Pope Benedict's sojourn to our fair country has interested me; therefore, it should interest you (remember, we're God and gun-clingin' Americans).

From all accounts, the Holy Father's visit was a wonderful experience until President Bush injected some Texas humor. At first, the Pope seemed to brush off Mr. Bush's address to him as "his royal hinney," but when Mr. Bush asked the Pope, "Hey, did you steal them clothes from that polygamy compound," the Holy Father did not appear amused (just kidding, that didn't happen).

The Pope's remarks and President Bush's remarks were prodigious and delightful. See the above video for a hodge-podge of the ceremonies. Also, here is a great article! And another insightful one!


Oversized Rubberband

Jamie and I (surprise, surprise) were out and about Wednesday evening, celebrating her birthday and what not. We opted for a casual evening...ate at this place...shopped at this place...spent outrageous and obscene amounts of American dollars at this place (you know, just the usual for us. I don't want to be accused of possessing any spontaneity).

I admit the weather was very pleasant. Great temperature...a clear evening...a light breeze. But it was no excuse for what I saw! Let me back up.

Jamie and I were strolling down the promenade, and we were approaching a giggly group of scantily-clad young ladies...I would say in the 16 to 18 age range. And sure enough as they got closer, my suspicions (my eyesight is poor) were confirmed: one of the young ladies (let's call her Winona) had forgotten to put on a bra/shirt/top/sack. In the interest of modesty, though, Winona had covered up the more provocative area of her chest with an apparatus that appeared to be an oversized rubberband. I'm serious...I'm very confident she was wearing an oversized rubberband as a top.

I did a bit of research, and best I can tell, rubberbands are not the newest trend in fashion. It's a good thing because the only way you are going to find me wearing rubberband attire is if Lucifer informs us that there are freakishly cold weather conditions at his homestead.
  • My friend John almost got arrested in Nashville this week. Oh my...Aime would have been hot!!!
  • Jamie went out with some friends last night. Apparently I was the dominant topic of conversation.
  • I must suppose that my mind was in the clouds this morning as I got off the Natchez Trace because I exited to I-20 West instead of I-20 East, sending me to Vicksburg, not Clinton. But thanks to the Bennie Thompson Interchange (Norrell Road exit), I was able to redirect my path quickly. My tax dollars at work!
  • I agree...we have a contingent of folks in our society who want to make green the new red, white and blue...check it out.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

GSV Post (and) Programming Note

Official Blog Observer Mr. Snerdley informed me that my link in the Google Street View (GSV) post to the...well, interesting...photos, is a dead link. Apparently faithful Ford Retort readers crashed the sight. IMHO, my explanation is the only logical explanation.

Maybe the site gurus will resurrect the link. I hope so, for the sake of your edification.

I'll be taking off a day or two from the blogosphere. Hope to see you back Thursday, April 17 (or some time close to then)!

Google Street View

The omnipresent and omnipotent (adjectives ordinarily used to describe God) Google is a worthy case study in redefining paradigms. But Google (unlike God) is not perfect.

Google Street View is a feature of Google Maps which allows folks to see 360 degree panoramic views of selected cities at street level. Thorough individuals find this tool useful, but I don't think I have to document the latent privacy concerns that arise from a tool such as this.

This site has several...well, interesting...photos from Google Street View. Take a look.


Monday, April 14, 2008

What's This Guy's Blog Like?


Philip M. Parker has written over 200,000 books. What's his trick? He actually compiles information from the internet, using complex algorithms, 60 or 70 computers, and programmers, to create books on various subjects. Search his name on Amazon.com and you'll find he has "authored" such works as The 2007 Import and Export Market for Household Refrigerators in Czech Republic and The Official Patient's Sourcebook on Hemochromatosis (condition where the body absorbs and stores too much iron). Here's the NYT article on his lucrative endeavor.

Oddly enough, it appears Mr. Parker is turning his sights to romance novels. Those should be steamy. If this guy had a blog, I wonder what it would be like?

Another Day....Another Dollar General

Jamie's birthday is this week. She and I participated in a dialog that went something like this:

jBf: Have you even thought about my birthday present?
mEf: Yes.
jBf: No you haven't.
mEf: Yes, I really have. I'll even let you in on a little secret.
jBf: What?
mEf: I already have it.
jBf: You are so full of it. You never get any present for me early.
mEf: No, while you were gone shopping this weekend, I went and got it.
jBf: What did you get?
mEf: Well, I can't tell you that, but I will tell you I put the hurt on the Dollar General.
jBf: unintelligible mutterings
mEf: Seriously, I got you some nice stuff.
jBf: Don't worry about it. Just get me a gift card.

Yes! Victory! Put a mark in the "w" column for the home team!
  • Jamie insists she doesn't have a birth day celebration. For her, it's a birth week celebration.
  • This morning, Neil needed some extra drivers to take kids from Prayer Breakfast at this place to their respective schools, so I gladly helped out. I really liked the three youngins I took because, like me, they weren't loquacious.
  • On the Rick and Bubba Show this morning (I don't listen to those guys much, usually don't have the radio on when they're on), Dr. David Platt, pastor of the Church at Brook Hills, was a guest. He had some good things to say. This guy is bright...two undergrad degrees and a three postgrad degrees. Did I mention he's 29 years old?
  • My friend Landon got engaged this weekend. Congrats to Landon and Julia!
  • I'm usually the first person to arrive at my office everyday. Because we have enough windows, and therefore sunlight, I typically don't bother to turn on the lights. Oppressive light saps my cheerfulness to work.
  • About to finish this book...looking forward to diving in to this one.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Friday Afternoon Wrap Up

Edited "Shout to the Lord" on American Idol


Since everybody in the blogosphere is bloviating about it, I feel obligated to mention it. If you're not sure what "it" is, check out the links.

Link 1
Link 2
Link 3
Link 4

I'm not really surprised about the editing incident. Surely you're not. If you're mad about it, develop a creative response and put it on YouTube.

Homesick Iron

Ironing is one of my tasks in our household. For the most part, I iron my own clothes, and some of Jamie's. To "kill two birds with one stone," I usually iron while watching TV. I believe I have some manner of a guilt complex, because often when I sit and only watch TV, I feel like (get ready for the simile) a slothful and languid bum. Ironing while watching TV allows me to assuage that guilt. So it's not uncommon for me to, every so often, leave the iron out...maybe on the floor or on the hearth or on the mantle.

If I iron 90 items of clothing per hour, and do it perfectly, but leave the iron and ironing board out, Jamie will not be satisfied. Jamie detests my inability to "finish the job" and harshly criticizes me. And it stomps out my alacrity for life.

But yesterday, I walked in our bedroom and found the iron on my nightstand with the above note attached to it. My oh my! How I was shocked! The iron loathes being left out as well. I talked with the iron; he (our iron is a male...turn him over and see the evidence) told me he simply got homesick easily. Iron (he prefers the generic name to his surname, Aloisus) told me that since we've had him, his home has been our laundry room, and he's most comfortable in there. After my conservation with the iron, I was mortified. I assured the iron I would take steps to always get him back home.

As an act of good will, I sang a song to the iron before I put him up. An old gospel song, "Home."

Home is where the heart is, and my heart's on home...



Thursday, April 10, 2008

This Morning

  • Have you ever shot someone the bird? Probably. Have you ever shot someone the bird, using a banana as the offending wand? Probably not. If you're the lady in the white Jeep Grand Cherokee who was aggressively driving behind me this morning, consider yourself fortunate that I was in a very good mood!
  • I heard about this story yesterday. The news anchor reported that a female employee had an adverse reaction to a white substance. That's ambiguous! The report insinuated that it was an anthrax-like substance. I figured she was just smoking it.
  • This is rich!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Tussis

On the way in to work this morning, I was eating a banana and drinking a Coke (the breakfast of champions, might I add). At about Pinehaven Drive, a sip of Coke (I'm guessing about 7 milliliters) went down the wrong tube (maneuvered to the trachea instead of the esophagus). Immediately, I began to cough...some of the more violent spasms of my thoracic cavity I've experienced in a while.

I knew I was just fine...in no imminent harm, so I just let the coughing run its course (about a minute and a half total). I did notice though that the lady in the car in front of me, whom I did not know, began to wave at me. I began to wonder if the oxygen deprivation was instigating me to see things which were not actually happening. But, no, this lady was waving at me. I waved back...didn't want to be rude. I theorize that my wild swaying led this unsuspecting lady to believe I was attempting to greet her. Don't you know this was the stuff of sketch comedy! I would have smiled at her (she had a very pleasant demeanor), but I was preoccupied choking.

What I find royally depressing is that if I was aspirating and about to die, this lady would have waved me on to Heaven. Oh well, my only advice: if you're choking in your car and about to die, do it with great constraint and inhibition, and if you're stationary, get out of your vehicle and make the universal choke sign. Just for the love of what's good and right in this world, don't wave...you're potential savior will only wave back.

p.s. After Monday, this sign is also accepted as the universal choke sign.

The Hi!!s



Let's get some things straight:

The Hills is not reality TV. At best, it's "scripted reality," but I trust you recognize that "scripted reality" is paradoxical in this context.

Have you ever had an strong distaste for an individual? That's about as polite as I can be when I speak of this Spencer Pratt character. Mr. Pratt has never been accused of functioning as a paragon of maturity. He, along with folks like Paris Hilton, are famous because they are famous. If I was forced to choose between exclusively watching a show about the life of Spencer Pratt or the WNBA, I would most likely choose the latter. The others folks don't do much for me either.

Watching The Hills is similar to touching a wet bathroom door handle. At first, you're surprised, in a slightly perverted and grotesque fashion. But once you absorb what truly happened, you experience a deep sense of disgust. As of right now, I am banning The Hills in my household.

All right. Just wanted to say that.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Tunnel Vision

I derive abundant comfort in routines. Get up, do this, do that, go home, go to bed, and in that sequence. This regularity and predictability does have opportunity costs, but the greatest risk, IMHO, is tunnel vision.

Jamie today conveyed to me a humorous anecdote concerning tunnel vision. It reminded me of an embarrassing story I like to tell about myself.

During my high school days, when I drove to this place every morning, I knew I couldn't leave the house without the three following items: my keys, my wallet, and my cell phone.

During my drive one morning, I mentally ran through my list of necessities/things to do/etc., and my mind turned to making sure I had my three, key items. I felt my wallet in my back pocket. Check. I saw my cell phone in the cup holder. Check. Alright, now where are my keys? They weren't in my pocket. Hmmm. They weren't in the cup holder. They weren't on the floorboard, my passenger seat, or in any other visible area. So I start to freak out...as I'm driving down Northside Drive. Where could my keys be? Maybe I left them at the house. Are they in the vehicle but out of sight? Could I have dropped them somewhere and not realized it?

As I was about to make some phone calls to attempt to locate my keys, I made a prodigious observation: I drive; therefore, my keys reside in the ignition. Ever felt stupid?

Tunnel vision via routines can, faithful Ford Retort readers, eliminate the need for your synapses to fire!

PrtScr


Mere moments ago, I astounded Jamie. With athletic adroitness? No. With musical mastery? No. With financial prowess? No. It was the print screen key.

I brought the print screen key in to Jamie's world. Maybe this key is a hidden gem on the QWERTY keyboard about which nobody knows. I doubt it.

If you don't know much about the print screen key, go check it out. It might make your day!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Honeymoon Video



The much heralded and much anticipated honeymoon video! Feel free to leave a comment concerning your conjecture about if I'm inebriated.

Friday, April 4, 2008

A Stormy Friday


  • Driving to work this morning, I passed my Dad on his way to work. I was overcome by a sense of something new and awry, for a reason I can't really verbalize...
  • If all goes well, The Office will be back soon.
  • I imagine many great people are at this man's memorial service, which is occurring today.
  • The aforementioned man signed his name WFB. Folks often inquire why I sign emails and such mEf. Well, just the novelty...and mf has other connotations.
  • Did you know that Mississippi has a Yalobusha County. I saw it on a license plate the other day.
  • I wonder what Jamie would say about this?
  • Somebody is going to have to explain the ins and outs of this situation for me.
  • I want to be the guy that turns these things on.
  • Here are some grammar myths from Grammar Girl (I know, I'm a dork).
  • Hopefully, I will soon be posting the honeymoon video to which I continually allude...


Thursday, April 3, 2008

Lemonade from Lemmons


Kinetic Church, a self-described "portable church" in Charlotte, NC, had the unfortunate (you may shortly view at it as fortunate) experience of having its storage trailer stolen. The trailer contained 75% of the church's equipment. The response of the church is worth contemplating.

Exhibit 1: the above image (this is one of 5 billboards the church has up around Charlotte). Here are the others.
Exhibit 2: this video on YouTube.

The folks who read about this story will fall into one of two categories: 1) you are disgusted that a church would use the word "ballsy" 2) you admire this church for their creative response to adversity, using it to communicate it's mission.

Folks, never forget that God is a lot bigger than your local congregation.

Wedding Pictures Are Online

Wedding pictures are here. I am also placing a "permanent" link on the left side of this page.

Sorry you have to sign in and register. You just do. And don't ask me why my name is listed as Robert Ford...

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

One Last Wedding Story

The wedding weekend for Jamie and me was a relatively smooth couple of days. No problems best we knew. But it's been funny to hear about all of the small problems that occurred during that fateful March weekend; of course, our wise family and friends dutifully kept Jamie and me in the dark about them as they happened. There was one, however, that we did know about.

Here's the story that must be told. Towards the end of the reception, Jamie and I were chatting with one of my groomsman, Landon. As we huddled in our holy trio and mingled, a very sweet lady (let's call her Endora) came to congratulate Jamie (she did a pick a good one, mind you). Endora spoke many kind words to Jamie and then said, "Michael, I wish both of you all the best. I know you and Jamie will be incredibly happy." The only problem was that Endora imparted those warm words while looking directly at Landon. Landon just smiled and nodded (he has a beautiful smile, you know). I simply took the opportunity to get some punch and cake...didn't want to interrupt any touching moments.

Now, I will admit, I could have gracefully intervened, but Landon looked so awkward and uncomfortable, and the good Lord knows I had done my fair share of that for the day, so I left ol' Lando to his own devices. And I'll let you in on a little secret: between you, me, and the internet, I thoroughly enjoyed watching Landon squirm. Hey...what are friends for?

Honeymoon: Coming Back (And a Few Other Things)

Let's not beat around the bush: the trip back from Jamaica was undeniably atrocious. Flight cancellations. Superfluous customs/immigrations check-ins (we went through customs and immigrations two extra times...for these extra inspections, not only did we not leave the country, we didn't leave the airport...I will say, from the customs/immigration inspections, that it's obvious that Jamaica hasn't had anybody fly planes into buildings in their country). Sitting next to crying infants. Wailing and gnashing of teeth of biblical proportions. But we made it back home on the same day (many people on our original flight were not as fortunate).

So I'm going to let that be the summary of the flight home. If you want details, ask me in person, but be prepared for a red-faced tantrum.

At one moment during our time in Sangster International Airport, I was overwhelmed with angst and needed to get away. The airport bathroom seemed to be an appropriate sanctuary of respite, so I went into a stall and just sat on the throne. Peace and quiet for a couple of minutes. It was nice. Sitting there, I absorbed the writing on the stall walls...mostly consisting of obscenities and vulgarities. So I took a pen out of my wallet and scribbled www.fordretort.com on the stall wall. Seemed a reasonable action to take.

A few other notes about marriage:
  • Jamie tells me I snore. She wakes me up (usually with a kick to the gut), because my snoring wakes her up (allegedly). These episodes remind me of my days when I was rooming with John Philip at M.C. It was not an uncommon occurrence for me to awake to cacophonous clamor, thinking that a dump truck full of bad praise teams had wrecked in our dorm room. Nope...just John Philip snoring.
  • Establishing our routines is happening...slowly but surely. I can't decide if I want to wash clothes once a week (during the weekend) or twice a week (midweek and weekend). Jamie and I do have one positive habit established: we set aside an hour or so during the weekend to clean.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

A Quick Post

This is my first post from my phone. Thank you for indulging me. I've never had a fondness for predictive texting. What does that say about me if my phone can predict my thoughts? I feel like Rev Run, posting from my phone, while in the tub...

Being an Adult

Oh my! Somebody forgot to tell me that when you get married, you have to start acting like an adult...you know, take care of your affairs, pay bills, etc.

Jamie and I stopped by our bank in order to change her name and update our account information. We also switched her cellular carrier (from Cellular South to AT&T) in order to add her to my wireless account. A part of the transfer/upgrade included new phones for both us as well as adding a data package. So it's official - I will now spend even more time pursuing fruitless tasks and ventures on the world wide web, via my Blackberry.

My blogging habits have become like Lilly's bowel movements (Lilly is the dog of a co-worker...she recently underwent an invasive procedure to remove a tampon she ate). Maybe I need an invasive procedure to "jar me lose." Is it sad and pathetic to blog about "in-house" issues such as my blogging habits? I'll check with Snerdley about that.