Monday, February 25, 2008

Hugh


The other day, Hugh Hefner solicited me...seriously...to subscribe to Playboy magazine (I will not be providing a link to the aforementioned literature). As usual, I came home and checked the mail. As I sat in my vehicle and perused content of the envelopes, I discovered the mailer/letter Hugh sent me to inform me that he was giving me a deal on a subscription to his esteemed magazine. And the appearance of the young ladies on the mailer certainly suggested that they were very interested in my business. I don't much recall the financial details of his offer, but I figured the impending change in my marital status would dictate that I decline Hugh's solicitation. Oh Hugh...you silly smut peddler.

I have to believe that regardless of what they may say, many a man has great respect for Hugh. After all, he is indirectly responsible for the first sexual encounter of a multitude of American dudes (it just dawned on me how pathetic that is). He deserves a place in the history books for that, if nothing else.

I deliberated Hugh's offer, and because of that, I really need to get this off my chest. Even if Hugh personally offered me a rack of money, I'm afraid I'd go bust if I took his offer. As appealing as a perky bank account is, I'd hate for anyone to have the idea implanted in their head that I sanction Hugh's attempts to milk his business for all it's worth. I simply need to keep you abreast of this thought: I would not sleep well at night if I knew I caused cleavage between a well-meaning person and their morals.

Hugh, I am truly honored that you would consider me worthy of a special introductory offer to Playboy; however, I regretfully must inform you that I am unable to accept your kind proposition at this time. If my circumstances change, I look forward to letting you know.

1 comment:

andrew said...

Milk his business for all it's worth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha